Clean Jokes
by Bob on April 13th, 2008
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Clean Jokes.
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A compilation of Free clean jokes and /or one liners from Politicians, Bush and various famous people in a funny free animated screensaver. Clean jokes that are perfect for speech writers, politicians, roasters, comedians, radio personalities or anyone with a partisan funny bone or even just a sense of humor. Download this screensaver and have a bit of a laugh on your monitor. Polititians can, after all, be very funny and more often than not, not by intention and this of course makes it even funnier!
Download these funny free animated screensavers now and if you’d like you can easily uninstall at any time. This is the third in a series of free animated screensavers that have been developed and are in devopment by Bob at www.bsbafflesbrains.com. This screensaver software is very easily installed and just as easily uninstalled. You have an iron clad guarantee that this screensaver software is virus free and safe to use.
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“Did I mention that it was free?
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Click here for your “Clean Jokes” funny free animated screensaver.
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This screensaver software has been certified as safe.
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Bushisms
by Bob on March 22nd, 2008
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Bushisms
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“Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” —Will Rogers
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“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” — Ronald Reagan.
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“He can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” —Former Texas Gov. Ann Richards on misstatements made by George Bush.
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“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”—Dan Quayle
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“If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.” —Barry Goldwater
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“There’s only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I’ve got an additional responsibility to hug and that’s me and I know what it’s like.” —George W. Bush
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“In other words, I don’t think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family.” George W. Bush, on smallpox vaccinations, Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002… “I don’t bring God into my life to—to, you know, kind of be a political person.”—Interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003
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“The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production.” -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 27, 2002
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“If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.” —Barry Goldwater
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“And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq.” George W. Bush, to Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008
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“I don’t particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it.” - George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007
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“We’d all like to vote for the best man, but he’s never a candidate.” – Frank McKinney “Kin” Hubbard
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“Isn’t it a violation of the Georgia sodomy law for the Supreme Court to have its head up its ass?” – 1987 letter to Playboy
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“I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.” – Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
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“I’m oftentimes asked, What difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot. It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a — it’s in our national interest.” –George W. Bush, Accra, Ghana, Feb. 20, 2008
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“In the State of the Union a couple of years ago, I addressed the issue of steroids, and the reason I did so is because I understand the impact that professional athletes can have on our nation’s youth. And I just urge our — those in the public spotlight, particularly athletes, to understand that when they violate their bodies, they’re sending a terrible signal to America’s young.” –George W. Bush, on the baseball steroids scandal, Dec. 14, 2007
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“We’re going to — we’ll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that — a death that we can cure.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 18, 2007
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“I fully understand those who say you can’t win this thing militarily. That’s exactly what the United States military says, that you can’t win this military.” –George W. Bush, on the need for political progress in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Oct. 17, 2007
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“You know, when you give a man more money in his pocket — in this case, a woman more money in her pocket to expand a business, it — they build new buildings. And when somebody builds a new building somebody has got to come and build the building. And when the building expanded it prevented additional opportunities for people to work.” –George W. Bush, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007
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“I heard somebody say, ‘Where’s (Nelson) Mandela?’ Well, Mandela’s dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas.” –George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007
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“We’re kicking ass.” –George W. Bush, on the security situation in Iraq, to Australian Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile, Sydney, Australia, Sept. 5, 2007
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“I’m going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I’m smart on the subject.” –George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007
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“You know, I guess I’m like any other political figure: Everybody wants to be loved.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
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Click here to download your very own “Bushisms” screen saver courtesy of Bob here at Bsbaffles.com
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This screensaver software has been certified as safe.
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Dreamweaver Tutorial
by Bob on March 12th, 2008
Dreamweaver Tutorial
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For those not familiar with the name Dreamweaver it is a computer program and the industry standard for building websites. I taught myself web design with Dreamweaver and based on that experience I would like to detail here one of the many stages one goes through in the process of self education with Dreamweaver.
Further and indeed, if one wished one could most certainly apply the following to the process of self education in general. Invariably, in the act of personal development, the self educator will come to a place where the endeavour embarked upon has seemingly failed, gone wrong, doesn’t work. Dreamweaver is especially notable for this. Please be advised and assured that in this particular program at least, there will come a time, after painstakingly sifting through copious amounts of seemingly indecipherable gibberish you will realize that the system is flawed.
It just doesn’t work. You try it one way and it doesn’t work, and then you try it another way and surely this must work and, of course it doesn’t and despite your best efforts it will not work. You are, to say the least flummoxed but do not despair. There is of course, a process here and the next natural step in learning Dreamweaver and possibly learning in general is this;
Inevitably, you will get to a point where you start to fantasize and specifically, you will fantasize about finding the son of a bitch who perpetrated this atrocity and, is in fact even now inflicting agony upon you. In your heart you know that he’s doing it out of pure malice. During the course of this fantasy a picture of the demon starts developing in your minds eye.
Slowly the picture becomes complete. You can see him quite clearly now and within that clarity you realize, for a fact, that this monster dwells and can be found somewhere deep in the bowels of a high-rise tenement in the very bad end of somewhere you can’t even imagine.
There he is, sitting in his cubicle on his steel framed bed, the cheap coil springs pocking through ragged sheets that have remained unwashed for not quite as long as he has. A naked bulb hangs on a long lead from the inordinately high ceiling casting a barely adequate light. Your mind slowly moves around the room and you see it all. Dank breeze block walls with only a remnant left of the original hospital green paint now pealing and blistered after years of dripping dampness.
The walls themselves are blank and bare but for the presence of one thing. One small thing that unwittingly betrays nothing more than a fleeting glimpse of a long lost connection to humanity. Lonely, ragged and well used, one corner drooping, there hangs the poster of the inimitable Rachel Welch, an icon of proud and defiant womanhood clad modestly in the skins of a sabre toothed tiger.
Other than Rachel there is a profound bareness here but for the only other possession that he has in this world. His computer. His weapon of mass destruction. The means by which he can punish the world he hates so desperately.
Your musings go on and on and in this squalor he sits. With a gasp you realize that he is, in fact even now violently pleasuring himself. Beads of sweat dot his brow but his eyes are closed and you know by all that is holy that it is not the vision of a scantily clad and tanned goddess inspiring his reverie. No, not this time, this time you know without question from whence this arcane arousal comes.
In your heart you know that it is your misery, your madness that drives him on. There is only one thing, in the face of this atrocity, that you know you must do and without hesitation you do it. You do it because it has to be done.
And what is this thing that you do? Well, that’s entirely up to you and your own concience but, whatever your actions please do not be overly concerned. Consider it, if you will a necessary stage in your development. A necessary part of the process that will facilitate closure and thereby allow you to move on and complete your self education. Please be assured also that in the face of the nonsensical gibberish that is the essence of Dreamweaver you are not alone.
You are not alone!
Does this strike a cord? Have you experienced anything of this nature in your own personal development? I would very much appreciate and welcome any insights you might have. Please place your comments below.
Thank you.
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The Secret-An Americanization of spirituality?
by Bob on December 17th, 2007
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The Secret-An Americanization of spirituality?
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The Power of the Subconscious.
by Bob on November 11th, 2007
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The Power of the Subconscious.
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Tags:Subconscious, aspects of body functions, artist, games,, chess, mental proccesses
Smoking marijuana only once….!
by Bob on November 11th, 2007
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Smoking marijuana only once….!
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Tags: evil, politician, disease, Experimentation, Marijuana, Procol harem, Crapper, toilet, flush, Bowel movement, illegitimate, expand your mind, righteous path
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Vote for Tony Blair. We need him?
by Bob on November 6th, 2007
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Vote for Tony Blair. We need him?
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